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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28623876">what you don't know (can't hurt you)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>4-7-8, And all that fun stuff, Angst, Anxiety, Character Death, Constellations, Crying, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hyperventilating, Inspired by Fanfiction, Light Angst, Loss, M/M, Mindscape Magic, Music, Not Really Character Death, Panic, Panic Attacks, Rebirth, Reincarnation, Requited Love, Song: Too Close (Alex Clare), Stargazing, Stars, Suicide, Temporary Character Death, The Imagination, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:33:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28623876</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I wish the stars were out tonight."</p><p>Virgil forces himself to keep from reacting. "You can see the stars from in here?"</p><p>Logan's entire body shifts, relaxing, face lighting up, a small smile lifting the corners of his lips. "Of course."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Platonic LAMP/CALM</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrainlessGenius/gifts">BrainlessGenius</a>.</li>


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28607382">Too Close, Too Late</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrainlessGenius/pseuds/BrainlessGenius">BrainlessGenius</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A side note before you read this: go read Too Close, Too Late by BrainlessGenius first, it contains the entire backstory for what leads up to this (although they're the OP of this idea, I just asked permission to snatch it and go a different route.) To explain if you DON'T feel compelled to go read their story (which...why? Just do it) I can quickly give you a rundown of what you'll probably need to know.</p><p>Virgil loved Logan, and Logan did not return his feelings. Unrequited love makes a song (in their case, Too Close by Alex Clare) become stuck in your head until it drives you insane or kills you. Virgil committed suicide. And then the song starts playing in Logan's head as he meets Virgil's second manifestation, because the mindscape made a new Anxiety.</p><p>This story picks up about midway through the ending bit of BG's fic, so again, reading that is very much recommended, even if just for background and not because of how incredible it was. (I cried.)</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Virgil is back, and Logan seems...distracted.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Virgil flinches as he jerks awake, curled in his bed under the covers. Typical. Thomas still needs him, but...he knew he would be brought back by the mindscape. And if he hadn't been, all the better.</p><p>He hasn't planned out much for after any 'resurrection,' but he supposes he can work with what he has for now. Pushing himself upright, he glares at the door and contemplates for several minutes before finally getting up and slipping into the hall.</p><p>Logan chokes a little when he walks into the kitchen (it's much later than he'd anticipated, and he wrinkles his nose at the dark window) staring at him like he'd forgotten what he looked like in the hours that Virgil had not existed.</p><p>"Salutations," Logan says, voice slightly unsteady as he introduces himself like Virgil hasn't known him for his entire life.</p><p>He forces his face to remain blank as he nods in greeting, hopping up onto the counter and looking around. <em>Act like you've never seen this place before</em>.</p><p>He doesn't miss Logan's wince at the action, but he doesn't react. <em>This is for your sake, Lo. I'm sorry,</em> he apologizes silently, dropping his eyes so Logan won't catch the way his eyes well up with involuntary tears.</p><p>After a brief pause, Logan asks for his name, and Virgil curls into himself, fingers locking into his hoodie strings. <em>Too familiar, you're not supposed to be the same Virgil,</em> he reminds himself, and loosens his grip.</p><p>“I’m Virgil. Thomas’...Anxiety, I think," he mutters, not looking up to meet Logan's eyes. He's terrified that the moment he does, he'll see exactly how disgusted Logan is with him. He isn't supposed to be <em>their</em> Virgil anymore, why would they ever want to be around him?</p><p>Logan's next exhale shakes at the mention of Virgil's name, either from hearing it again at all, or from him giving it so freely, and he mentally curses. Why didn't he just say Anxiety and leave it at that? Before Virgil can fumble for something else to say, Logan steels himself and speaks. "Welcome, Virgil." He gestures towards the hallway, explaining rooms (obviously unaware of how Virgil had reformed IN his room, though maybe that was because he wasn't actually a different entity) and launches into a rant about healthy sleep.</p><p>Virgil might cry and give himself away if Logan infodumps right now. It had been such a long time since Virgil had allowed himself to be close enough to Logan to allow Logan to get this far into his 'teaching headspace.' It aches to cut the logical side off, but he can already feel tears welling in his eyes, and he doesn't have an excuse ready for why he would be crying about being told why sleep was helpful. So he quickly interjects. "I'm...uh, actually not tired right now," he tries. As soon as the words are out, he realizes it's actually true. A side effect, perhaps, of having been reborn? "Uh, yeah. I don’t feel tired at all."</p><p>Logan nods like he understood perfectly. "Of course. Would you like to remain here?"</p><p>Virgil spaces out at the wall for a moment as a sudden wave of dizziness comes over him, but he jolts back to attention when Logan asks, "Would you like some?"</p><p>He has no idea what he had missed, but he nods nonetheless. Logan quickly throws coffee together, hands trembling ever so slightly as he hands a cup to Virgil. He takes a sip, eyes closing at the familiar taste washing over his tongue. "Thank you." He pauses, taking another sip and leaning back against the cupboards behind him. "Logan, right?" he asks, trying to keep the lie going. He can't let any of them catch on that he already knows them so intimately it feels like they are just extensions of himself. (He supposes that they are anyway, but this was a deeper level of connection and trust between them. He couldn't betray that he still maintained it.)</p><p>"Correct," Logan affirms. "How's the drink?"</p><p>Distantly, the song is already playing, just a faint echo for now. He manages to keep from rolling his eyes, instead answering Logan's question without thinking. "It's perfect. Just how I'd like it."</p><p>Logan's entire body tenses, grief flashing through his eyes again, and he clears his throat, setting his mug down heavily on the countertop. The other Side leans against the counter and sighs. "I wish the stars were out tonight."</p><p>Virgil forces himself to keep from reacting. "You can see the stars from in here?"</p><p>Logan's entire body shifts, relaxing, face lighting up, a small smile lifting the corners of his lips. "Of course. I have a room, tucked away behind my bedroom that allows me an unobstructed view of the night sky," he says excitedly. "Of course, it would only work at night, but it gives a fantastic view. Perhaps I could show you sometime?" he offers.</p><p>Virgil nods. "Sure, that sounds like fun," he croaks. He remembers Logan telling him once that he didn't let the others into that room. Just Virgil. Did Logan really trust this 'new version' of him so much, or was he caught? He strangely doesn't feel jealous that Logan is already offering to show him the room. He's more glad that Logan is trusting him at all. He'd been terrified that if he were the one to return, that the others would shun him, refuse to talk to him since he isn't <em>their</em> Virgil.</p><p>(The <em>real</em> reason he's so scared is because he thinks that maybe they hadn't quite accepted him out of anything other than necessity, and a new Anxiety would give them the perfect opportunity to push him away again, fix their mistakes and keep him from ducking out without actually having to include him in their group. He supposes the fact that he re-manifested as a Light Side is proof enough that he was wrong.)</p><p>At last, when he finally starts to yawn, Logan gently leads him back to his room, pointing out where his own is, and sends him off to bed with a gentle smile and a light hand on his shoulder, like he's still scared he wasn't real and trying to pass off the gesture as a friendly pat.</p><p>Virgil stares after him as he disappears into his own room, then slinks into his own and slumps onto the ground, burying his face in his hands.</p><p>Distantly, the song starts over.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not <em>super</em> proud of this, but for some reason, my creative block goes away long enough to write three paragraphs and them boom, she back, binch. So, that's fun. Take this for now? I'm working on more, and hopefully the writing quality will go back up again, this is bad even for me lmao. Have a nice day, kiddos!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alone in the safety of his room, Logan curls in the center of his bed, staring blankly at the wall.</p><p>Anxiety (Virgil, just call him Virgil, Logan, it’s his name, he trusted you with it) had been right in front of him, so close he could have reached out and touched him. A physical reminder of the friend that Logan had failed to save. A physical reminder of what Logan could never have.</p><p>He exhales shakily, squeezing his eyes shut against the tears and pushing back against the ones threatening to well up, grinding the heels of his hands into his eyes to hold them back.</p><p>Sighing, he pulls the sheet over himself and closes his eyes, hoping sleep will eventually come and drag him into a temporary oblivion. No such luck.</p><p>He ends up tossing and turning for hours, unable to sleep, unable to even think clearly enough to at least get some work done for Thomas.</p><p>Thomas. Is Logan’s restlessness affecting his Host, or is Thomas peacefully asleep in his bed, unaffected by Logan’s internal battle?</p><p>A flicker of his thoughts later, he's rising up in Thomas's bedroom, careful to stay silent. As he feared, Thomas is sitting on the edge of his bed, looking absolutely miserable. He looked up as Logan enters, and tries for a smile, but it's weak. "Logan? You okay, buddy?"</p><p>Logan nods wordlessly, doing his best to stay back. "There is something that...the others and I agree that you should be aware of," he says, making a split second decision. Thomas will have to know eventually, after all. "You'll want to be sitting down for this," he continues as Thomas goes to get up. His voice is painfully quiet and heartbroken, and maybe that's why Thomas just eases back onto the bed.</p><p>"Is everyone okay?" he asks quickly.</p><p>Logan hesitates. The correct answer is no, but there <em>is</em> a new Anxiety, so technically Virgil is both fine and not fine simultaneously. Thomas's worry seems to intensify at Logan's silence, his expression teetering between fear and exhaustion. "It's a difficult situation to explain," Logan starts, although he knows that will not calm Thomas in the slightest. (It doesn't.) "But you will need to know eventually, and since I am here, I might as well tell you now."</p><p>"Should I get the others?" Thomas asks, hand already in the air, ready to call them into the real world.</p><p>Logan pauses again, contemplating. Asking him not to summon Virgil will worry him, but...he cannot say it alone. He needs the others, however selfish that need is. "Just...just Roman and Patton, please, Thomas."</p><p>Thomas looks outright terrified now, but he just nods, flicking his hand and summoning a defeated looking Roman and Patton. it's instantly clear that neither of them were asleep, upright and alert, if a bit fogged over by their still-fresh grief. Thomas looks, if possible, even more alarmed at their appearance, hands jerking out as if he wanted to hug the both of them.</p><p>"Heya, kiddo," Patton mumbles, aiming for a cheerful tone, but his voice cracks and he's still crying, curled in on himself. Roman looks even worse, grief taking away the usual light in his eyes, hair a mess, clothes rumples, shoulders hunched. He's holding something in his hand, a little balled up wad of red and black fabric. The hat Virgil had given him for Christmas, six years before his name reveal. they were still on somewhat good terms then, before Thomas's anxiety had hit full force and Virgil had distanced himself from them, growing from a healthy caution to full blown panic attacks. That first year had been one of the worst Logan had ever tried to navigate without the help of the others (who were much too preoccupied, through no fault of their own, with their own confusing shifting identities as parts of Thomas as their Manifestor himself changed), full of confusion and anxiety and broken friendships and awkward relationships.</p><p>"Guys? What...what's going on?"</p><p>Logan snaps back to the present at Thomas's voice. Roman's mouth opens and closes soundlessly a few times before he just shakes his head and glances at Logan, who nods.</p><p>"Thomas, approximately twenty hours ago, there was an....an incident. That I admittedly should have revealed to you sooner, but I couldn't find the words."</p><p>"Logan, please just tell me what happened. Where is Virgil? Shouldn't he be here for this? Did he...was...did he get hurt?"</p><p>Patton outright wails at the questions, and Roman, looking alarmed, shuffles over and wraps his arms around the moral side. They cling to each other, grateful for the lack of a camera keeping them apart. Patton rests his head on Roman's shoulder, both of them taking comfort in the touch, and Roman hums, closing his eyes as Patton gently runs a hand through the other's hair. Logan forces his gaze away from them, tamping down the urge to comfort the two, and returns his focus to Thomas, who at this point looks petrified, exhaustion gone and terror taking its place. (Logan briefly wonders if, in the hours it took Anxiety to reform, Thomas had noticed how calm he had been, how worry-free and unnaturally devoid of anxiety.</p><p>"Virgil committed suicide," Logan whispers. "We...I was unable to get to him in time. A new entity has formed to...take his place, but he has no memories of anything before today. He has some of the knowledge you do, obviously, but he will not remember the Sanders Sides videos in the same way that we do, as he was not there. We will have to act accordingly, and whether we remove Anxiety's character from the series, or attempt to explain it to him and get him into character...I will leave that decision to you, Thomas." Talking about the videos was somehow better, and the words came much easier the longer he spoke.</p><p>Thomas was nodding, although Logan had the feeling he was just barely processing what was being explained to him. "Right," he said faintly. "Can I have a moment, please?"</p><p>Logan gestured to the others, who sank out immediately. "Of course," Logan responded quietly, retreating after the others, back into the mindscape.</p><p>"That..." Roman trailed off, rubbing furiously at his eyes. "What do we do now?"</p><p>Logan exhaled shakily. "What we have to."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>OK, I'm a <em>tiny</em> bit proud of that last sentence for some reason. You ever write something that isn't exactly a remarkable sentence, but it just fits so well, or feels to nice to end a chapter on, and even though it's a simple sentence or even just a single word, you feel like you've accomplished something? Yeah, that feeling.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey BG, if you're reading this, I'd like to reiterate that your fic is amazing, thank you for sharing that piece with us. I hope this does it justice as a continuation/alt end sort of thing. Thanks for letting me write this, I'm honoured!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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